Thursday, October 27, 2011

Paranoia Pays Off

There's nothing a paranoid person loves so well as when something bad actually does happen, just so he can say, "Yes! I knew these last few years of tin foil hat-wearing would pay off big someday!"

What am I talking about? 

Total computer meltdown. Virusy mayhem. The sad, sorry badness visited upon my otherwise lily-white hard drive by casual, cyber-social intercourse.

You hear it all the time: back up your work. Without fail. And, you know, I heeded that advice so I have been spared Greek tragedy-level misery this week.

Of course, I backed up my stuff less because of a concern about a virus wreaking havoc and more because I've always feared my laptop being stolen, because, you know, I live in such a high-crime area. But still, one paranoid fear is as good as another.

But, seriously, I am ever so glad that I make a separate copy of all my work every day and keep it on a removeable drive because if I hadn't done that, I'd be cryin' in my pie* right about now.

(Actually, let's be real. It's not that I'm so good about following basic, common sense advice and more that I'm motivated by the fear of doing something painfully obvious that might have prevented a disastrous outcome. If I hadn't made a back-up and then whined about a virus laying my hard drive low, you know somebody would have said, "Well, did you back up your work?" And then I'd have to admit, no, I hadn't. Because I'm a blithe moron who deserves what I get.)

So just a friendly reminder to all of you out there. Make a back-up. Keep it separate from your computer. Do it every day. Wear your tin foil hat. Paranoia pays.

Oh, and let me just add that while it's incumbent upon all of us to take responsibility for protecting our precious files, I do hope whoever these people are who create these viruses someday enjoy a swim in the deep fat fryer of hell. They deserve it. Them and the people who don't pick up after their dogs and those ladies who tinkle on toilet seats in public restrooms and then look you in the eye as they exit the stall. You guys should all be turned into Satan's hushpuppies.


*Bogus Scottish expression. Feel free to use it. 


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Comments (18)

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Christine Sarmel's avatar

Christine Sarmel · 700 weeks ago

If Satan's gettin' helpers can we add people who drag 952 items through the express checkout or 5'9" trick-or-treaters holding pillow cases? Or maybe both.
1 reply · active 700 weeks ago
Yeah, let's add 17 year old trick or treaters to the flaming abyss of hell. The rule oughta be that if you can drive, you've forsaken your right to get free candy from strangers.
Shoot! What I hate is when people actually make the effort to bag up their dog's sh-t, but leave the plastic sack on the side of the trail. WHY?! Either leave alone to begin with, or finish the job!
1 reply · active 700 weeks ago
OK, I'm adding them to the Hell List as well. In permanent marker!

It doesn't count as cleaning up after your dog if you don't then cart the baggie of poo away.
ooh! Thanks for the reminder. I've been that blithe idiot before... and can we add the people who throw trash on the side of my road to the list of Satan's hushpuppies?
1 reply · active 700 weeks ago
Yep. Check. Trash throwers are consigned to Hell as well. They have to live in a house filled with all the litter they've left during their lifetime.

Hey, this is kind of fun. Perhaps I should apply to be Hell's Vice President for Punishment Research and Development.
Renee Collins's avatar

Renee Collins · 700 weeks ago

We JUST bought an external hard drive. I swear I've been hearing about computers breaking down more and more lately. And I'm a-SCARED. So, this post is a good crack of the ol' whip to actually copy things into it.
1 reply · active 700 weeks ago
That's me: Cautionary Tale Extraordinaire. I'm going to have business cards made up that say that.

I haven't gotten my laptop back from the techie guy yet. I feel like a limb is missing!
Carbonite. I got it. I love it.
And I wondered where you were :(
1 reply · active 700 weeks ago
I've been technologically hobbled, that's for sure. It's really cut into my "Screwing around on the Internet" time in a big way. Hopefully I'll get my computer back today and I'll be able to return in full force to my usual epic time wasting online.
Go Remy FTW!!

I am obsessive about backing up my fiction files. I e-mail them to myself every time I work on them. Everything else...not so much. Guess that tells you where my priorities lie.
1 reply · active 700 weeks ago
Yeah, I think I'd gnash my teeth if I lost so much as a single paragraph of my writing. Everything else on the computer? Eh. I could live without it

Oh! Except the pictures of the kids.

Yeah. I forgot about those. Definitely need those backed up as well.
Amen, sister.
SO glad you were backing up! I've had a couple computers die and each time I lost less data than the previous time, but never have I been 100% backed up (when I was relying solely on Time Machine, for example, my backup was always a couple weeks old. I use an online service now (as well as Time Machine, just in case), which I like so much better because it backs up automatically when I'm online. No more notes to myself "BACKUP! YOU WILL REGRET IT IF YOU DON'T" left lying around the house. Still no fun to get a virus.
I know what you mean! I lost the revisions I did on my manuscript (that got me agented) because my USB died. Thank goodness the lovely guys at the computer store retrieved it for me!
I want the people who spread viruses around to do all my dishwashing and laundry for free. The way I see it, they have too much time -- AND they owe me. They might wish they were in your deep-fat fryer after a day or two, but tough luck. And ditto on the dog poop leavers and the shameless dribblers: they owe me BIGTIME and they'd better be ready come the Day of Reckoning.

Off to back up my work!

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