Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Meanwhile, In Other Dimensional Realms…

This week I’ve been struggling against all manner of enemies, both foreign and domestic--OK, mostly domestic--in my attempt to get the words down.

Hey, that's the way it goes. Sometimes you can’t get the numbers on ye olde manuscript odometer to roll over, not for love nor money. Things get in the way. 

But, you know, that doesn’t get me down too much. Because distractions and obstacles are part of life, and you need to plug away regardless. 

Here. This about sums up the attitude I try to adopt every morning when I get to work:

CHARGE!!!!

The reason these small, everyday frustrations don’t bother me too much is that I know they’re nothing compared to the much greater obstacle I faced in the past, namely my own attitude toward writing and my lack of courage to just do it.

I can’t tell you how much time and energy I devoted to the subject of Should I Be Writing when I was in my 20s. Gah. So many, many journals filled with tremulous maundering on the question, “But what if I waste my entire adult life pursuing something I have no real aptitude for when I could have put those years to more productive use?”

Yup. That’s about the size of it. Thems the chances you take.

And then one day I decided to proceed even though, all things considered, yeah, it probably would be best if I didn’t. Because writing was what I wanted to do, and all the shoulds in the world weren’t going to change that.

Occasionally I think about what Alternative Reality Kristen is doing right now, in some other dimensional realm. That girl who overpowered her silly desire to write and got a law degree or some such thing. Maybe she’s got a closet full of power suits and terrorizes her assistant for failing to put the correct ratio of sugar to milk in her macchiato. Who knows?

Mostly, I feel sorry for her.

For this I have learned: you can live quite happily without your dreams ever coming true, but you can’t live happily without pursuing your dream at all. And if you’re going to fail, fine, but make the world say no to you, don’t say it to yourself.

You've got to be committed.

Exactly.

Like a crazy person.

What do you reckon your Alternative Reality/Non-Writer You is doing right now? 


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Comments (12)

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No, she's playing poker. With me.

Now she's throwing her cards down, getting up, and pointing a gun at me and accusing me of being a cheat and no-good filthy liar.

See? She's having a very exciting time of it. And apparently she lives in the Old West.
Dianne Salerni's avatar

Dianne Salerni · 697 weeks ago

Since I was battling anxiety attacks before I rediscovered writing as a creative outet, I imagine the Other Me is probably heaviily medicated by now. :(
1 reply · active 697 weeks ago
Yes, heavily medicated and regularly attending demonstration parties.
LOL, alternate reality me is probably married to a gazillionaire, but so insanely miserable in her loveless marriage she can't even muster the energy to write her stories. That's what I'm going to tell myself to make me feel better about my day to day. ;)

Fun post. Are you watching Hell on Wheels? I want to like it more, but I just don't "know" the characters well enough yet. Deadwood, it ain't, but I love the RR history. Why would they make it straight when they're getting $16Gs per mile? ;)
1 reply · active 696 weeks ago
I've been debating whether to watch Hell on Wheels, too. I may watch the first episode to see how I like it. I've been watching Walking Dead and LOVE it. But I never watched Deadwood. Heard great things about it, but never got into it. I was more of a Wire kind of gal.
I haven't been watching that. I miss so much good TV because I can't stay awake past 9 pm.

Yes, isn't it funny that our alternate selves are ALWAYS stuck in loveless marriages to gazillionaires? Such a pity.
Writing full-time. Wait...oh shit.
1 reply · active 697 weeks ago
Nooooo! Hurry, Lt.! Get back through the interdimensional portal! Quickly, before it closes!
My Alternative Reality/Non-Writer You is knocking down $150K a year working for the Very Important Organization but not liking it so much, as opposed to the poverty-stricken Real Me who is not liking his circumstances much but still has a shred of hope that he will turn this I-want-to-be-a-writer thing into reality.
The Alternate Reality Me is teaching Shakespeare to kids who spend a lot of time inexplicably looking in their laps, and during my lunch break I hoard all the comfy sofa cushions in the teachers' lounge.

Love this by the way: "you can live quite happily without your dreams ever coming true, but you can’t live happily without pursuing your dream at all" :)
I think about this! Back in 1999, I was trying to decide between pre-med school and writing, and I chose writing. And I don't regret it. I think my alternate self would be either a doctor or an MBA who sits around fantasizing about quitting the job and becoming a writer. But the money would be too good to give up, so I would write on the side, and never really get very far with it, and listen longingly to the struggles of published writers while at the same time making snarky remarks (as I imagine people do about me) to my husband like, "Hasn't she been working on that novel for like six YEARS? Why doesn't she just get a job?"

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